Cattiness Amongst Women

by

Monica Burns-Capers

Words that are used to define Cattiness are: Insecure, Envy, Malice, Viciousness, Grudge, Spite, Hatefulness, Nastiness, Evilness, and Malevolence..... just to name a few. So, which one describes you?

If on a regular basis, you feel the need to share your negative opinions of women, with whom you really know nothing about, you are catty. If you hang out in cliques - be it personal or professional - and you seem to always find the time to strike up the latest gossip in reference to women you work or socialize with, you are catty. If you live with several women and have managed to cause division between them, you are catty. If you get a thrill out of persuading others to dislike individuals whom you dislike, you are catty. This list can go on and on, but why waste the time when you already know yourself.

Cattiness is a surefire sign of Low Self-Esteem issues within you; otherwise, you wouldn't engage in such behavior. You are wasting all of your time and energy on nothing. No one is ever really content on living a life of continuous discard, confusion, and chaos; therefore, you seek ways to ease your inadequacy through your stellar performances of Cattiness. You don't have a clue as to why you act this way, nor of the real underlying negativity issues you project to and on others, by engaging in the obvious evil of Cattiness.

When you feel threatened, displays of Cattiness are utilized as temporary band-aids to cover-up that which you fear the most.....”The Truth About Yourself.” Your Cattiness takes the attention away from your own faults, resulting in you pointing them out in others. And do you even know what it is that you're fearing? You can deny the facts of Low Self-Esteem being the reason you engage in Cattiness if you want, but you know the real truth. And the real truth, is that you Envy those whom you unnecessarily criticize and subject to your Catty behavior.

Cattiness gives you back, via the Universe, that which you disburse to others about others such as: Body aches & pains, Unnecessary arguments in your relationships, Stress in your life, Discontinuing of your blessings from the Universe, Enemies, Bad breaks in life, Loneliness, Depression, Confidence Issues, Inferiority, Inadequacy, Lost of Jobs, and so on and so forth. Why would you want to live that way? Furthermore, what gives you the right and how did you acquire such a broad range of knowledge to judge others? What you see in others as negative, you feel in yourself. What you hate in others, you see in yourself. What you criticize in others, you want for yourself. The Confidence you see in others, is the Low Self-Esteem you feel within yourself.

Acknowledging the negativity within yourself, is the first step towards change. Stop blaming others for your unfortunate circumstances and bad breaks in life. Your life as you see it, is the result of your own actions. Have you contemplated and pondered on the issue as to why your life is in such disarray? Use the energy that you're wasting on Cattiness, towards the betterment of your life. Look deep within for your solution. Until you gain insight of your underlying negative issues and put forth serious efforts to change them......You will never live a peaceful life because peace will never exist in you.

Monica Burns-Capers

Copyright ©2008 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.

Monica Burns-Capers is an Expert Author, Freelance Writer, Consultant, Adjunct College Instructor and President/CEO of Monica Mi'Chelle Communications: A Professional Writing and Self-Development Firm. For More Information, Visit Her Website At: www.monicamburns.com.

Why is it that those who attend church seven days a week or every Sunday for that matter, are always preaching to others to “be more like them?” I mean.......do we really want to be more like them? These people are some of the most foul-mouthed, hypocritical, and condescending individuals I have ever come to know. Now, not all of those who attend church are this way, but there are more than a handful who are or claim to be so much more “holier than thou,” but their actions and the words that come out of their mouths, are just not conducive to what they are being taught in their churches.

I have had several encounters with many people who are from different religious backgrounds and denominations; however, what many of these people have in common, is living the opposite lives of what they say their churches are teaching them and what they themselves are teaching others. If you are a saved, born-again Christian, as so many of them are quick to tell you, why are they so quick to curse at others, using such foul language? If they are such Christians, why do they practice and promote hatred? If they are such Christians, why are they going to church to catch up on the latest gossip about “How Short Sister Johnson's Skirt Was Last Sunday?” If they are such Christians, why can't they just welcome visitors to their churches with a warm reception, as opposed to recruiting you based on your annual income? If they are such saved, born-again Christians, why can't they just act and live by their teachings? If they are such Christians, why are they so quick to judge?

Most church folk attend church just to say “I Go To Church Every Sunday.” They aren't learning anything. They sleep through the sermons and give very little of themselves in their communities. They don't really even have any idea on why they're attending church. It has just become a normal routine thing for them. Others attend church when they no longer have control over their lives. They catch a bad break in life, and the first thing they say is “God I Need Your Help” and the second is “I've Got To Go To Church.” This is great if they are planning on continuing their attendance, but what happened to being in tune with God everyday, while everything was going great in your life? What happened to “Praying” and “Thanking God” for the good things while your lives were going great? He is not a parttime God, so why would you be a part-time believer and worshiper? You should have “God” in your hearts before going to church. The church can teach you the Bible and the choir may sing you a nice song, but the church can't force a relationship with God on you. You have to be willing to accept God for yourself and the teachings in your church will further enhance that which you seek, provided you have a very knowledgeable pastor. Most of the people that attend church, have yet to accept God themselves. They do think that they are saved. But when I last checked, saved born-again Christians didn't use foul language, they didn't judge others because they realize none of us are perfect, and they praise and thank God in spite of the good or bad times in their lives. The pastor can preach all day long, but if you are there for a one-time fixing, his sermon will have no merit over your life.

Every great church requires a great leader. As an authoritative figure, your pastor should display behavior that leaves his followers confident in his knowledge and trusting in his actions. There is no reason for the pastor to have three of four girlfriends, and he also has a wife; but he always preaches how sinful adultery is. There is no reason for the followers to go broke, while the pastor is dressed in his colorful suits, shoes to match, and driving that luxury vehicle that your offerings have paid for. There is no reason for your pastor to turn you away from the church because your bank account is not large enough, but preaches that God says, “Come As You Are.”

Choose your place of worship wisely and look out for the false prophets. They are all over the place, playing “Church.” You'll know and hear them coming miles away because they talk too much about nothing! Learn the Bible or whatever your Spiritual Aspirations are in a way that will be beneficial to your mind, soul, and spirit. Never allow others to tell you that one religious denomination is better than the other. They haven't tried them all, so how would they know? Most of the knowledge I've been so fortunate to obtain has been through individuals who can truly teach me the Bible as it relates to my everyday living. They don't judge me for what I don't know, as life is a journey and I'm enrolled in Life-Long Learning.

Monica Burns-Capers

Copyright ©2008 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.

Monica Burns-Capers who also writes under the name Monica Mi'Chelle, is an Expert Author, Freelance Writer, Consultant, Adjunct College Instructor and President/CEO of Monica Mi'Chelle Communications: A Professional Writing and Self-Development Firm. For More Information, Visit Her Website At:

Five Ways To Tell If You Are Just A “Booty” Call

by

Monica Burns-Capers

You would think that we would all know when we are involved in “Sex-Only Relationships.” Sadly, most women don't have a clue. There are a whole host of ways to determine whether or not your relationship is just a Booty Call; however, the listing below suggests a few of these ways, and should assist you should you have questions and need answers to why your relationship isn't moving forward.

• He Allows You To Visit Him Only In The “Wee” Hours of The Morning – If the man you are currently seeing has requested that you only visit his home between the hours of 2:00AM and 4:00AM, you are indeed a Booty Call my dear. After the rump sessions are over, cuddling isn't required, nor will it be initiated by him. The only pillow talk going on between the two of you is, “What Night Is Your Next Visit?” You are invited at these hours because it is dark, no one will see you entering into his home, and no one will see you leaving his home. You were just something that happened that night......until your next visit at the same time.

• You Do Not Have His Phone or Cell Numbers – Now you would really be so naïve to think that this is really your man and you can't even call him. You have no way at all of contacting him, not even a work number! Do you even know where he works? He has to always call you. Everything works on his time and his time only. When he calls, you come running. You have put your outside interests and people on hold, so that you won't miss any of his calls. There is nothing about this type of arrangement that says “Pursue This!” You are clearly just a “Booty Call.” I mean really.....don't fall for the “I Work For The Secret Service” crap either, as his reason for not giving you any phone numbers!

• You Have Never and Will Never Meet His Friends or Family – Some men will not even think of introducing their Booty Calls to their family or friends. You are of no importance to them in that aspect. Why would he introduce someone that no one even really knows about anyway. If he introduces you to his family and friends, he'll think that you may think, something more serious is going on, when in all actuality...it's not. He has no intentions whatsoever of allowing you to meet his family and friends, so don't count on it ever happening. You are the Booty Call. Your access to him is totally restricted and very limited.

• He Doesn't Acknowledge You – Have you ever ran into your Booty Call person at the store or some other place in public, and he acted as if he had never in his life ever seen or met you before? This is not an act ladies, but rather, part of your arrangement and role as his Booty Call. He doesn't know you during the day time hours; only in the wee hours of the morning-Remember....between the hours of 2:00AM and 4:00AM? Don't embarrass yourselves attempting to get him to notice you. It will just make things worse for you. You'll get upset at that exact moment, but you know when he calls you later on that same night, you're going to be prepared to see him at your same usual time.

• He Has Never Asked or Taken You Out On A Date – So it has been six months already. You are still visiting him in the wee hours of the morning, you still don't have his phone or cell numbers, you haven't met his family or friends yet, and he doesn't acknowledge you in public. What more do you need? You still haven't been out on a date, not even to the drive thru at your local McDonald's. Dear, you are never going to be asked out on a date now. You see....he has already got what most men want as their reason for taking you out on the date in the first place.

Of course, not all of the above is a conclusive listing, but they are the major players in determining if you are just a Booty Call or if your relationship is indeed worth pursuing. Not all men act this way, and not all women are naïve,; however if you fit into one of the above scenarios, it is your choice to make. If you are okay with your current arrangement of “Sex-Only,” then by all means, do what you do. I'm not the judge, nor do I aspire to be. But, if you are someone wanting to change, you should begin with loving yourself first. When you love yourself it shows, and the universe will arrange your life in a way that will align the right person to cross your path and love you even more!

Monica Burns-Capers

Copyright ©2008 Monica Burns-Capers. All Rights Reserved.

Monica Burns-Capers is an Expert Author, Freelance Writer, Consultant, Adjunct College Instructor and President/CEO of Monica Mi'Chelle Communications: A Professional Writing and Self-Development Firm. For More Information, Visit Her Website At: www.monicamburns.com.